Rules for Footy Fandom...... My Additions

O.k.... Here are my additions to establish a rule set for becoming a Footy fan.

1. Once a club team is chosen as your primary favored team, under NO circumstances can you decide to dislike that chosen team. We may call this rule "The Offspring Rule". It is just as wrong to turn away from your primary favored club team as it is to abandon a child. The only exception to this rule is if the club slips to a lower league division for more than one year (see 1b.)

1a. You must continue to pledge allegence to your primary favored club team (Which I will refer to as the PFC from this moment on) regardless of hatred towards incoming players, managers, owners, or governing financial entity over the club. Reciprocally, you may not follow favorite players, managers, etc. to another club, and abandon your own club just because they leave.

Examples: If Jose Mourinho is blessed with the opportunity to partake in the infinite beauty that is Inter....... I must continue to be a fan of Inter........ In addition, Sim may not deny his love for Chelsea simply because all of his favorite players and coaches abandon the club.

1b. You can only abandon a PFC if that club is relegated to a lower division in a league for more than one year. The reason for this is that, frankly, it sucks trying to watch a team play a lower division for more than one year...... and besides that, it would be nearly impossible to do so without spending an extrodinary amount of money trying to obtain foriegn sports channels via your cable or internet. (NOTE: This rule only applies to residents of the U.S., not to any persons living in Europe, or in the same country that hosts his or her PFC's league.) So, if your child runs away....... there really isn't anything you can do about it.

2. If your personal PFC comes to town to play, you must pull ALL strings to go to that game. This is called the "Internet Girlfriend Rule". If your internet girlfriend came to town, you better do all things to see her or your relationship is lacking authenticity...... and you might find your IM to be a bit blank the next week.

EXAMPLE: Let's say your PFC decides to come to, lets say, Denver, and play at Dick's Sporting Goods Park in Commerce city. Since most of our PFC's are european, or national at the very least, lets say they are matched against the MLS all-stars. If you do not go to that game...... a rare moment for you to actually see your PFC in action, then you might be using your proclaimed PFC to mask the fact that you haven't picked a team in the league as your friends, fearing that your knowledge of the all mighty game is inferior to thiers. It is o.k....... there is grace for all.